I haven’t had a lot of time to think about these questions today because I have been nursing my little girl through tonsillitis. But, in true last minute style, like when your homework is due in in 10 minutes, I have just had a last minute think about what my biggest barriers are and I have to admit I have had a bit of an epiphany. The real question now is can I pen it all before my baby brain forgets it!!
So, I already knew that my biggest barrier is me. I consistently sabotage any progress I make at slimming world and I am forever making excuses for my lack of exercise. Why do I block myself, hmmm, good question………I think there are a number of reasons. Firstly, I am lazy, I always have been! So in terms of exercise it takes a lot of psyching up to get my backside out the front door! Secondly, I am very good at making excuses, there is always a reason for eating this and there is always an excuse for not doing that. Thirdly and more specifically about food – I just love it. I love it all, but I particularly love chocolate, cake and biscuits and I frequently turn to them to make me feel better about this and that. More seriously, I think the forth reason I block myself is possibly a lack of confidence. I am so self conscious, there isn’t much I like about the way that I look and so I cringe at the prospect of people seeing me exercise. I’m guilty of doing it myself in the past; I have seen people out running or cycling for example and I have judged them in a negative way and this has lead me to believe the others would do the same towards me. But, something I have changed about myself in the past year is that when I have those horrible negative thoughts about people I turn them round in my head before I speak it or cement it in my mind. So, for example, if I see a larger lady out for a jog instead of berating her I respect her – she is trying to make a positive difference to her life and she is on a positive journey, good for her.
How can I work with these barriers? Well, this is where I had the epiphany! I am the only person who can really make a difference here, so first and foremost I need to stop with the excuses – there are no excuses. I just need to get myself some exercise clobber and I can get moving. Where eating is concerned I need to make several adjustments; I need to get back to food optimising properly, I am only letting myself down by not doing it, no one else loses out. I need to address my emotional eating which is what this is all part of, and in addition to this blog I am going to write up some prompting questions and some suggested distractions that I have found on Pinterest that will hopefully help me think twice before I open the chocolate tin. Now, as I type that I can hear my mum saying “why do you have a chocolate tin?” But I think that I should be able to have these things in the house and my family should be able to have treats in the house but that I should be able to control myself and I should be able to teach my children that everything is okay in moderation.
So it’s down to me, I need to give myself a big kick up the bum. If I don’t make the changes necessary then I am just going to hate myself even more!!! Wow, it’s a big task ahead, but if I don’t try then I’ll never change. Next I shall be turning my thoughts to want I want to achieve most this year and how I am going to do it, hhmmmmm………